Survival tips for those who love an NFL draft Fanatic 

by Shera Palmer

 

There are those that wait for the NFL draft as if it were Christmas – excitedly counting down the days until that glorious Saturday. They close the blinds, seal the front door, turn off the ringer on their phone, stock the coffee table with every fried food imaginable, and settle down in front of the TV for the two-day marathon of decisions and analysis that will define the upcoming season. Then, there are the rest of us – who have to live with those people. For anyone out there like me who wouldn’t know a defensive tackle if he knocked you over, this is for you …

Survival tips for those who love an NFL draft Fanatic

1. Get out – Have you got a sister in Boise who you sort of like? An old elementary school friend that you pretty much remember? They miss you. Plane, train, automobile – just so long as you get there.

2. Make other plans – If your car is busted or you simply can’t get out of town, don’t fret. They call it spring cleaning for a reason. That bathtub needs scrubbing, and once it’s gleaming it would be a shame not to take a nice long soak.

3. Get in the game – Say both your legs and both your arms are broken. There’s nowhere to go except that couch. Now, even if you don’t know why your beloved NFL draft Fanatic is groaning over that last pick, there’s still plenty of drama to behold in the NFL draft. You don’t know who he is or what he does with that football, but you don’t need a playbook to feel the pain of that poor young kid in his best suit who squeezes his mother’s hand as team after team passes him by.

4. Accept temporary insanity – Try not to take it personally when your NFL draft Fanatic screams at you for breathing too loudly during the Cardinals’ pick. Try to remember your love for that NFL draft Fanatic and know that that love will be returned once the fog of the draft has lifted.

5. This too, shall pass – Hey. At least it gives you a whole new appreciation for Monday. Your boss should send flowers to your NFL draft Fanatic for the renewed vigor in your work.